I Am Here

I grew up in a big family.  I am one of ten children.   We were raised to hope for the best but prepare for the worst.  

Believe me, this motto has helped us in various situations over the years.  Think long trips, small children, and weak bladders.  Father hoped for the best but Mother came prepared. Kidding aside, in general Mother hoped for the best but Father prepared for the worst.  We were trained to consider various scenarios and prepare accordingly.

Hope for the best but prepare for the worst -- that is a hard habit to break.  As with all things, there is an upside as well as a downside to living with this way of thinking.  The good thing is that you're either prepared or are preparing.  The bad thing is that sometimes you're TOO BUSY preparing.  (There, I said it.)

Therein lies my problem.  I often get caught up worrying about things that are yet to come that I am unable to relax and appreciate the beauty of the present.   When that happens, I am not here,  I am some time else.  

I need a constant reminder that it is important to be mindful of the present moment.  Sometimes we are here but we are not really here, we see but we don't really see.   

Owning up to the situation, I admit that sometimes I am here but I am not really here.  At times I see but I don't really see.   This lack of presence, this absence, affects relationships...my relationships...all of my relationships.   

The four mantras were fresh in my mind.  They seemed to be the words I sometimes failed to hear or failed to say ... to MacGyver, to my children, to my family, to my friends, to my colleagues, etc.     
   

I am here for you.

I know you are there and I am very happy.

I know that you suffer, that is why I'm here for you.

I suffer. Please help me.

At mass today, the priest reminded us that we have to be awake to God's presence.  God is always present, more often than not, we are the ones who are not.

I guess this is why I was drawn to the four mantras when I first came across them.  It did not matter that the words had come from a Buddhist monk.  They seemed to me the words I was looking for in my struggle to improve my relationship with God.
   

I am here for you.

I know you are there and I am very happy.

I know that you suffer, that is why I'm here for you.

I suffer. Please help me.