Your Days are Numbered, Buddy

While GI and I were seated at the Emergency Room, waiting for him to be seen, I glanced at the paperwork they had given me and was impressed at how efficient they are here.  On the paper was a printed gummed label with his name, address, date of birth, age, contact number, etc.

I said, "GI, you're already 22 years and 5 months.  Wow!"

He replied, "Yeah, I know.  I'm so old.  I'm as old as Manong was when we were still kids back home in Manila."  (Manong is his oldest first cousin, ten years his senior.)

He followed this up with. "Did you know that for babies, one day is such a long time, while for people like me, one day can go by so fast?  It's true, Mom.  One month for a baby is like a long, long time, but for me it just passes by so fast. Imagine how it is for older people.  People who are ...."

He paused because he saw me glaring at him.

I prodded him to finish his sentence, "Yes, GI?  What were you going to say?"

He slowly and sheepishly replied, "... forty?"

I gave him the death stare and reminded him, "You do know that I'm turning 50 this year, right?"

"Ummm... ahhhh....." was all he could say.

I was still staring at him, feigning hurt.

"But it's true, Mom.  Time is different for babies."

(He just didn't know when to quit.)

"GI, that's not helping."

"I love you, Mom," he said, and reached over to give me a kiss.

"I know, sweetheart,"  I replied and smiled.

But the 'time is relative' thing must still have been on his mind because he followed this up with a story about how there was a test where older people were blindfolded and asked to indicate when they felt a minute was up.  Most of the older people allowed almost two minutes to pass before saying that a minute was up.

I frowned then flashed a teasing 'if looks could kill' face at him.

He straightened up then repeated, "I love you, Mom,"  then started making waving motions with his left hand.

I laughed when I understood that he was "waving a white flag."

"You should add this," I said and started making "digging your own grave" motion.

A couple of nights later, during our dinner conversation, RD said, "Have you seen Will Smith?   He so fit but he's so old!  He's in his 50's!"

I interrupted RD and said, "What are you saying, RD?"

RD was focused on how fit Will Smith looked that it didn't register to him that he had just equated 50's to 'so old.'

"Turning fifty."  I said flatly as I tapped myself on the chest.

The implication of his words suddenly dawned on him.

"Oh!" RD cried and immediately started making waving motions with his right hand.

I called out to GI who was at his desk at the time, and relayed what had just happened.  GI laughed and motioned back to RD for him to start digging, too.

Yesterday, I was on Skype with Sunshine Girl.  GI and RD were with me while she was with her eight-year old son Ronald.  The connection wasn't the best so I told them I would be switching devices.  I closed the Skype session from the iPad and reconnected on my laptop.  When we rang back, it was only Ronald on the other side of the call.  We chatted with him and out of the blue, RD said, "Ronald, if anyone asks you how old your mom is, say she's 18.  Trust me, it will save you a lot of trouble."

I found it amusing so I typed RD's expert advice on the chat window for Sunshine Girl to read.  When Sunshine Girl returned, she noticed the message and read it out.  After reading it, she turned to her son and asked, "Ronald, how old am I?"

Without any hesitation, truthful young Ronald replied, "Forty-six."

We burst out in laughter.

RD called out to Ronald, "Ronald, Ronald, I'll teach you something else," and he promptly showed his cousin how to "wave the white flag."

Then GI joined in and taught him the motions of "digging your own grave."