Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Heaven Sent

Heaven Sent -- 23 April 2008

Out of the blue, I thought about one of my first cousins. She has lived in England for as long as I can remember. When my grandparents were still alive, they would visit the Philippines once in a while as a family. As the years passed, my cousins got married, had children, moved out of their house. In other words, they grew up.

Their visits to Manila were far and few. As a result, me and my cousin hardly see each other and we rarely communicate with each other. Yet now that I think about it, she was nearby during two instances of crises in my life. I distinctly recall her message to me and also the positive effect her presence had on me during those times.

She once told me, "Just remember, nothing is wasted."

These were the words of wisdom she gave me when I was nursing a broken heart. My first boyfriend and I had split up after eight and a half years, and I was crushed. I was young and idealistic. Admittedly, I was (and still am) a hopeless romantic. I thought that he would be the one I would marry and that he'd be the father of my children.

Anyway, these words play back in my mind even after 15 years, particularly during hard and trying times. And nothing IS wasted as long as we learn from our experiences.

In 2005, I was going through a particularly difficult time in my career. She and one of her sisters came to visit. It was a very rare visit. Her sister had flown in from the States and she had flown in from London. They had sychronized their trip to be in the Philippines at the same time to visit their father who is here. It was a short trip primarily aimed at seeing their father but they were able to spend an afternoon at Cebu Avenue to see my parents and meet the children.

When we saw each other, she could tell that something was wrong. We were able to talk briefly. Her calm presence was a great help. She told me not to worry too much and that things would turn out fine.

I don't know what it is about her but somehow she always comes across to me as being so at peace with the world. Though she is very soft-spoken, one can feel her strength. She is like an angel sent from heaven.

I still yet to achieve that sort of serenity in my life. I know it is possible for I have seen it with my own eyes.




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